Make Today Count

I had a dream last night.  Kevin was in his hospital scrubs leaving for work.  He took me in his arms and kissed me goodbye and told me over and over again how sorry he was to have to leave me.  I woke up a little sad thinking, that wasn’t a dream, that used to be my reality.  I then realized it’s still pretty close to my reality.  

President Thomas Monson said, “People facing death don’t think about what degrees they have earned, what positions they have held, or how much wealth they have accumulated.  At the end, what really matters is who you loved and who loved you.  That circle of love is everything, and is a great measure of a past life.  It is the gift of the greatest worth.” He continues, “Time is a gift, a treasure not to be put aside for the future but to be used wisely in the present.”  This was from a lesson we had last week at Family Home Evening.  We made a commitment to each other that we would make every day count.  That’s our newest family motto.  I definitely miss the old days when our motto was “Work before Play” or “Be Nice.”  But I guess “Make Today Count” is a motto we should all strive to live by.  Some situations just encourage us to really do it.  So we asked our children, “If today was the last day our family might be together in this life,  how would you spend your time?  What would you do differently?”  There have been a lot more hugs.  And a lot more kisses.  We’ve always said “I love you” a lot, but we make sure it’s the last thing we say at the end of the night.  We decided that as long as you can go to bed at night knowing that your family knows you love them, and you feel loved by them, then you can go to sleep confidently and peacefully.  

With our new motto, Kevin has been faced with the decision on how he wants to spend his time.  The answer came more in what he didn’t want to do . .and that was to endure a painful drive up to LA for the COQ10 study.  So we’ve stayed home and have been blessed with ways to make each day count.  Labor Day weekend we were surrounded by  fun and activity that my sister’s and my brother’s families brought into our home.  Kevin even took a spin in his wheelchair to see a movie with everyone.  Last Wednesday was an exciting day . .some called it “1st day of school,” others, “bomb scare day.”  Did you see the bomb threat at San Clemente High School on the national news?  Three hours sitting in a stadium in the heat was Sophie’s first introduction to high school. Thursday afternoon our power went out (as did much of Southern California into Arizona)  We saw it as a gift - no tv, no ipad, no computer - all of us sitting around the family room lit with candles telling stories and eating Carls Jr. burgers.  Kevin said that was one of the greatest moments eating that naughty, unhealthy burger. Friday was another gift - NO school due to the power outage!  We were able to get in that last summer beach day that we had been deprived of over the rainy Labor Day weekend.  Our children enjoyed the cold water and warm weather with both sets of their grandparents.  I woke up early Saturday morning to rain.  I said a prayer thanking Heavenly Father for yet another stay at home family day (they just kept on coming!!) Unfortunately, I woke up too early (yes) and forgot that it usually clears up in San Clemente (yes), so by 10:30 am. all tennis, soccer, and football games were on.  The highlights this day included Sophie successfully conquering her first high school tennis match with a smile, Kevin taking another ride in his wheelchair to watch Ben play goalie for the first time (he was awesome!), and sending Josh out the door with his 3 uncles and granddad, wearing a red U of U shirt to the USC game! (we have a picture)

I did have a very scary moment last week.  Kevin was in excruciating pain and asked me to come see if his dilaudid pump was working.  When I looked at Kevin, his shirt was covered in blood!  Remember, he had a 16 platelet count. I silently freaked out, which means I said out loud, “oh my goodness, oh my goodness, we need to get you to the hospital” and on the inside I was thinking, well, I can’t really write what I was thinking.  With investigation, we discovered that his dilaudid pump had become unhooked, the tubing had filled up with blood, and was leaking out. Kevin simply talked me through flushing the line with saline, sterilizing the attachments, and hooking the pump back up to the tubing.  Just so you know, those are not skills I have ever had to perform before. He said that the dilaudid withdrawal he had been experiencing was one of the most painful things yet.  Usually I can’t relate.  But seeing that my mom left today after 4 weeks of being with us - I know withdrawal.  I haven’t bled out yet, but it’s still early.

So every day is a gift, just like Master Oogway said.  “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift . .that is why it is called the present.”  (Even Kung Fu Panda quotes gospel principles) Today is a gift.  Make it count.

*Dang.  I meant to send this out Sunday night.  Right now, the "tomorrow is a mystery" is ringing true.  Last night, Kevin received critical blood lab results.  His platelets have dropped to 6, and his hemoglobin to 7.5.  We made it through last night with Kevin receiving extra oxygen and me bolusing the dilaudid pump every 10 minutes for pain.  We will be going to outpatient at the hospital this morning for blood and platelet transfusions. Please say an extra prayer for Kevin today.