Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Adversity

Two weeks ago I sat down next to Kevin with a notepad and pen in hand, ready to write down all of the things he wanted to accomplish before leaving us.  Three.  That’s how many things were on his list.  (Really, there were 4, and should have been 5.  #4 was help me plan his “party” and #5 record his personal history - favorite memories of his life.  Yesterday I told him it wasn’t such a good idea leaving me and his mom to write his history because we will probably argue over the details.  Kevin said, “that’s ok, there are so many interpretations” (to someone’s life story).  That made me laugh.)  
Ever since starting this blog Kevin has wanted to post something on it.  It has been very challenging watching Kevin lose the use in both of his hands, as the ability to type, text, write, turn on his phone, hit his dilaudid bolus, and even eat, were stripped from him. I now realize that watching him struggle to breath is challenging, losing his hands - an inconvenience.  So this morning I am helping Kevin accomplish #3.  This post is from him.  It’s a topic that he has thought a lot about, and personally knows a lot about.  Always striving to comfort another, it’s a discussion that he had with a dear friend of ours who suddenly and recently lost her mother.  
Why do we suffer afflictions and adversity?  Here are some of my thoughts:

1.  Adversity, pain and suffering fullfills part of a much larger plan that we understood before we were born. 

As premortal spirit children of loving heavenly parents, we agreed upon a plan that would give all of us an opportunity to learn, reach, grow and ultimately return to a heavenly home after we had been tested in this life.  We knew that some of us would be called upon to experience certain trials.  For instance maybe we were able to choose the challenges that would bless our own lives and the lives of those around us.  When it comes to adversity and pain and suffering, it is not just about that person who is experiencing it.  Rather, like a pebble dropped in a pool creating ripples which impact wherever the water touches, so too can those who suffer adversity impact those around them.  Of course we don't remember any of these premortal plans but is it possible that we decided to be afflicted in some way, be born with Downs Syndrome, or be sexually/physically abused in this earth life because we felt strong enough to endure and make these trials a blessing?  In Isaiah 58:12 it speaks of those who will build up old places and will be called repairers of the breach and restorers of paths to dwell in.  Are there those placed in our lives or families who become "repairers of the breach" by their ability to endure well and understand and overcome certain terrible trials?  The ripples of the one called upon to experience adversity  will change the direction of entire family lines, neighborhoods, communities, nations (Ghandi, Mother Theresa, my parents, and the ultimate example being Jesus Christ).  

2.  Because of natural laws and randomness, pain, affliction and adversity will happen to people. 

God loves to create, He loves order and beauty.  Satan promotes disorder, chaos.  Satans influence is a part of the free agency and mortal realm in which we live.  Natural laws are allowed to play themselves out not because of anything we have done.  Rather there is a component of randomness in mortality that no one has control over.  That is because, as the scriptures teach us, this earth life is Satans dominion and He constantly strives for chaos, disorder, oppression, confusion, darkness, etc.  Cancer is definitely all of these things as are many aflflictions and sufferings.   This concept is found in the book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People". 

3. Adversity "stirreth up" a people into remembering the Lord.  

Whenever the path gets too easy we tend to depend in the arm of flesh instead of the Lord.   Said in a more harsh way, as quoted from a Book of Mormon prophet:  "Yea, and we may see at the very atime when he doth bprosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of cprecious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do dharden their hearts, and do eforget the Lord their God, and do ftrampleunder their feet the Holy One—yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity.
  And thus we see that except the Lord doth achasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with bdeath and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not cremember him.
 O how afoolish, and how vain, and how evil, and devilish, and how bquick to do iniquity, and how slow to do good, are the children of men; yea, how quick to hearken unto the words of the evil one, and to set their chearts upon the vain things of the world!
 Yea, how quick to be lifted up in apride; yea, how quick to bboast, and do all manner of that which is iniquity; and how slow are they to remember the Lord their God, and to give ear unto his counsels, yea, how slow to cwalk in wisdom’s paths!"

4.  Adversity, pain and affliction is a result of bad choices we make.  When these choices are contrary to God's plan of happiness, the results are Satans plan- pain, suffering, chaos, etc. It is clear that the porn addict, alcoholic or gangsta have made choices that now have limited what they can do or become or experience.  I think this type of pain and suffering happens to everyone but in more subtle forms.
5.  We are sent to earth to be tested and proved herewith if we will do all the things the Lord asks of us (a little like #3)  But #5 does not imply that we have necessarily done anything wrong.  Rather, growth does not come but through trials and tribulations.  Even Christ (who was without sin) was tested, left alone to fend off the various temptations of Satan on his own.  This was in preparation for his ultimate mission on this earth life- to atone for the sins of all mankind.  Each person can look into their life and find adversity that has nothing to do with poor decision making on their part.  This is #5- one of the main reasons of life on earth is to be tested, to be proven, to grow and see if we will hold fast to the gospel of Christ despite what might be thrown our way. 
And lastly #6- Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father have need for you in the spirit world.  There may be sons and daughters of God who have grown and learned things in mortality which are now needed to help brothers and sisters, currently living in the spirit world (a place between mortality and the final judgement) who need to be rescued by this particular individual.  Such adversity may be found in an untimely death of a high functioning, God fearing person in this earth life, or further trials which seem to be teaching someone who has had more than their share of adversity.  We all know someone like this.  It is as if we could ask- why does the pain and suffering have to continue?  Perhaps because a greater calling awaits this individual for when they cross through the veil of mortality into the spirit world where more work will be performed on brothers and sisters who are living as spirits (this state of being is referenced in the bible albeit sparsely 
( See 1 Corinthians 15:20-29 and 1 Peter 4:5,6, and Luke 23:39-43 and Matthew 16:16-19.  These scriptures give us glimpses on what happens to our spirits at death and the power that exists to seal things on earth and in heaven by those in authority).  
Now think of the influence your mother has living as a spirit in the spirit world (also referred to as a prison or paradise depending on what ordinances and steps were taken in following the gospel of Christ while here on earth and were then "sealed" to this person as mentioned in Matthew 16).  She can do the Lords bidding on a much grander scale to those on earth who are ready to hear and feel her influence.  This influence is the promptings of the still small voice or Holy Ghost. 
OK these are my 6 reasons for earthly adversity.  Our job is to endure our challenges well and hold fast to the iron rod of the gospel.  May we all prove worthy of the challenges that are placed before us.  Then we can say I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith. 
Fight the good fight my friends! 
Kevin

19 comments:

  1. beautifully said...and i have so much to learn.
    thank you for sharing~
    a prayer for you and your family from us :)

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  2. Kevin, Thanks for teaching us. it reminds me of 2 Nephi Chapter 2:25-27 (Kevin thinks I always bring this up in every gospel discussion :-) ) "Men are that they might have JOY!" You have taught us that this is possible even through all the adversity of this life! You have been able to ACT for yourself and not be ACTED UPON by the challenges of life. Thank you Kevin, Abby, Josh, Sophie, Ben and Sam for teaching me and my family this lesson and for the knowledge that you constantly share about the Saviors love for us! the Ords love the Hegewalds!

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  3. Kevin and Abby,

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful Blog. I have learned many things from your experiences. You have touched my life and I am sure many others as well.

    Kevin, it does not surprise me that you are thinking of ways to help others while experiencing so much pain and suffering. You have always been on the lookout for helping others and that is part of what makes you such an incredible person. Thank you for being such a great influence on my life. I still tell people about how you were friends with everyone at school no matter what. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers. Tell Rudy and Eva Hello!
    Love, Julie Cattani

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  4. I've been studying for a relief society lesson about pain and the atonement. Of course, all along the way my mind is drawn back to you, Kevin, Abby & all the hegewalds.

    I especially loved this quote from Elder Kent Richards:
    "Our great personal challenge in mortality is to become “a saint through the atonement of Christ.” The pain you and I experience may be where this process is most measured. In extremity, we can become as children in our hearts, humble ourselves, and “pray and work and wait” patiently for the healing of our bodies and our souls. As Job, after being refined through our trials, we “shall come forth as gold.”

    You are as good as GOLD, Kevin. Refined and a blessing to everyone you come in contact with. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, they give us much to reflect on. We are privileged to call the Hegewalds friends and love you very much! Elizabeth & Morgan

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  5. Kevy,
    No one says it or does it like you do. Straight from the heart and full of truth and love. I look forward to reading these thoughts often and sharing them with our children. Thank you for sharing this past weekend with us! We enjoyed every minute of it. We love you and we are here for you, Abby, Josh, Soph, Ben & Sam. See you soon, my friend.

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  6. This left me in tears. It breaks my heart to know that you and your family are going through this right now. It just doesn’t seem right but I guess trials never do really seem right. As your family and friends already know, you, Kevin, are one of a kind. My favorite thing about you is your ability to show your love and acceptance for everyone. Thanks Kevin for going out of your way to make me feel cool and popular! :) It meant so much to me when you asked me to Homecoming my sophomore year after you found out no one had asked me. I think it was even the day of the dance. You seriously are the best! I have so many fun memories with you and even though it’s been years since I’ve seen you (besides that moment at the St. George Triathlon finish line), I still think of you as a good friend and someone who will always have my back! My prayers are with you and your family!

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  7. I have never seen a man meet his mortality with such grace, power and dignity.
    You are an inspiration to me to be a better parent, spouse, doctor and person.
    I remember doing a "role playing exercise at a group meeting where we were supposed to be addict spouses...funny memory.
    We will help provide for your beautiful and smart children for college who are so lucky to have such a strong legacy and mother.
    Peace and love in my thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
    You did fight the good fight, inspiratlional to us all. love to all the Hegewalds!!

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  9. Your family is in our prayers constantly. Thank goodness for Heaven and the Plan of Salvation!

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  10. I think all of us travel through life hoping that we will make a difference in the life of just one person. You, Kevin, have far surpassed that. I saw it every time we worked together and I have been so blessed to have known you and thankful that you were there as an example to me. You are truly an immortal man, as your legacy will live in the lives you have touched and those who will touch the lives of others because of you.

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  11. Dear Kevin, Abby, Josh, Sophie, Ben & Sam: Thank you all for the wonderful example of pure love and courage that you have given to all of us as you have traveled this difficult road. Kevin's testimony to us will live forever in our memories, and reminds me of another good man who lived the same kind of righteous life and left us four years ago today. I love to think of them embracing at this moment. Kevin truly fought the good fight and earned the response "Well done my good and faithful servant, welcome into my rest." All of you have also earned that same response. May you be blessed by the love we all have for you. But, especially by the peace and love that only He can give. I know that you will feel it. The Pinnock Clan has you in our prayers constantly. Love to you all, Aunt Kathleen

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  12. Kevin I love you. May I be half the man, father, physician and priesthood holder as you are. May we work together on the otherside.
    Brett Hadley

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  13. Dr. Hegewald, Heggie, to most here in the ER has always been a positive source of love, faith and inspiration. He lived his life to help others heal and grow. Everyday I learned from him and everyday he inspired me to be a better person. One of the last things he said to me was in a text that said, "You are worth more than you know. Don't stop believing in yourself." He always saw people for the potential they had and the person they could become. Thank you Heggie, for the gift of your friendship and your guidance as a mentor both at work and in life. You will be missed, but I know you will never be far away.
    Kelly Boan

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  14. Dying... The event that has scared me my whole life, just got a whole lot less scary today. Even if Heaven wasn't a very fun place before, I know that it now is.

    Kevin, save me a seat in the "FUN" section.

    Until then,
    Debra Bledsoe

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  15. Kevin, Thank you for all the times you have stitched me up or even parked my truck left out front blocking the ER, after a few Kidney stones came to visit us. You are a man of VALOR! I will always look up to you, "have you done a good deed today?" you lived your life just like that question. Thanks for your service, and yes "Well done my good and faithful servant."

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  16. "Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh and anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." Ether 12:4
    A beautiful scripture for a man who succeeded in doing all of the above...from here to eternity Kevin!
    Love, The Lee Family

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  17. Kevin and Abby,
    Thank you for sharing that beautiful testimony of your faith through adversity and of the plan of happiness. We pray for you several times a day and think of you much more.

    My mom quotes that book, too, and quotes, "Those who ask, 'Why do bad things happen to good people' are asking the wrong question. What they should be asking is, 'What happens to good people when bad things happen?' and the answer is, 'They become better people.'"

    I know this is what my family experienced through Lora's end of life, and, based on the goodness you possess, I assume it's what you are experiencing as well. My heart aches for what you are going through, but it makes me happy to see you grow even closer to Christ--to be able to witness your refinement. . . To watch you become even better people.

    Thanks for posting; I've been checking multiple times per day for some news! But I'm curious: what were #s 1 and 2?

    Love, Heather (Mc) and Shayne

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  18. Kevin, we love you and will miss you. thank you for taking the time to share such poignant thoughts with us before you had to go home. Love, the Dyer family

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  19. I found this post today from a friends blog. My husband passed away last month from Cancer...he was 41. I've been having a really rough week. I needed to read this today for so many reasons...it is not an accident I found this. Your last quote, is what we chose to be on my husbands headstone. Like your husband, he fought the fight with faith in a loving Heavenly Father, and full of hope. Thank you for this.
    Much love,
    Meri

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