This is the HOPE!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI50236nVWw&feature=colike

Brother Hegewald lives on... through the faces of his children, through the faces of the youth he so deeply affected.

This video was made by Walker Boyes and the youth of the San Clemente Stake.

We love you, Kevin.

Memorial Services

We invite all to attend the services honoring Kevin Hegewald...

San Clemente Memorial Service 

Saturday, Sept. 24th

11:00 am 

San Clemente Stake Center

310 Avenida Vista Montana

San Clemente, CA 92673

Viewing from 9:00 am - 10: 30 am.

Open House to celebrate Kevin 

2-4 p.m. 

Hegewald's backyard

(If you need the address, please email autumn.mcalpin@gmail.com)

**Donations: In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to the Kevin Hegewald Memorial Fund, which you may submit at any Bank of America -OR- you may mail a check to Abby made out to the "Kevin Hegewald Memorial Fund." 

(For their address, email: autumn.mcalpin@gmail.com)

Salt Lake City Memorial Service 

Friday, Sept. 30th

11:00 am 

Cottonwood 14th Ward

2080 East 5165 South

Salt Lake City, UT

The Hegewald Family

From friends of the Hegewalds...

We will all miss this wonderful man who leaves behind a legacy of hope, faith, and living life to its fullest. Thank you to everyone for all your love and support for the family.

In lieu of flowers, the family has set up a family trust.

You can donate to "The Kevin Hegewald Memorial Fund" at any Bank of America.

-or-

You can mail a check to Abby made out to: "Kevin Hegewald Memorial Fund."

(Please email autumn.mcalpin@gmail.com for their home address.)

The Fight Is Over

He fought the good fight, he finished the course, he kept the faith.

At 4:45 pm. tonight our dear husband, dad, son, brother, and friend returned to his heavenly home.  

How grateful we are for the knowledge we have that he still lives.

Thank you to all of you who have climbed this mountain with us.  I love you.

Kevin, you will be missed.

Adversity

Two weeks ago I sat down next to Kevin with a notepad and pen in hand, ready to write down all of the things he wanted to accomplish before leaving us.  Three.  That’s how many things were on his list.  (Really, there were 4, and should have been 5.  #4 was help me plan his “party” and #5 record his personal history - favorite memories of his life.  Yesterday I told him it wasn’t such a good idea leaving me and his mom to write his history because we will probably argue over the details.  Kevin said, “that’s ok, there are so many interpretations” (to someone’s life story).  That made me laugh.)  

Ever since starting this blog Kevin has wanted to post something on it.  It has been very challenging watching Kevin lose the use in both of his hands, as the ability to type, text, write, turn on his phone, hit his dilaudid bolus, and even eat, were stripped from him. I now realize that watching him struggle to breath is challenging, losing his hands - an inconvenience.  So this morning I am helping Kevin accomplish #3.  This post is from him.  It’s a topic that he has thought a lot about, and personally knows a lot about.  Always striving to comfort another, it’s a discussion that he had with a dear friend of ours who suddenly and recently lost her mother.  

Why do we suffer afflictions and adversity?  Here are some of my thoughts:

1.  Adversity, pain and suffering fullfills part of a much larger plan that we understood before we were born. 

As premortal spirit children of loving heavenly parents, we agreed upon a plan that would give all of us an opportunity to learn, reach, grow and ultimately return to a heavenly home after we had been tested in this life.  We knew that some of us would be called upon to experience certain trials.  For instance maybe we were able to choose the challenges that would bless our own lives and the lives of those around us.  When it comes to adversity and pain and suffering, it is not just about that person who is experiencing it.  Rather, like a pebble dropped in a pool creating ripples which impact wherever the water touches, so too can those who suffer adversity impact those around them.  Of course we don't remember any of these premortal plans but is it possible that we decided to be afflicted in some way, be born with Downs Syndrome, or be sexually/physically abused in this earth life because we felt strong enough to endure and make these trials a blessing?  In Isaiah 58:12 it speaks of those who will build up old places and will be called repairers of the breach and restorers of paths to dwell in.  Are there those placed in our lives or families who become "repairers of the breach" by their ability to endure well and understand and overcome certain terrible trials?  The ripples of the one called upon to experience adversity  will change the direction of entire family lines, neighborhoods, communities, nations (Ghandi, Mother Theresa, my parents, and the ultimate example being Jesus Christ).  

2.  Because of natural laws and randomness, pain, affliction and adversity will happen to people. 

God loves to create, He loves order and beauty.  Satan promotes disorder, chaos.  Satans influence is a part of the free agency and mortal realm in which we live.  Natural laws are allowed to play themselves out not because of anything we have done.  Rather there is a component of randomness in mortality that no one has control over.  That is because, as the scriptures teach us, this earth life is Satans dominion and He constantly strives for chaos, disorder, oppression, confusion, darkness, etc.  Cancer is definitely all of these things as are many aflflictions and sufferings.   This concept is found in the book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People". 

3. Adversity "stirreth up" a people into remembering the Lord.  

Whenever the path gets too easy we tend to depend in the arm of flesh instead of the Lord.   Said in a more harsh way, as quoted from a Book of Mormon prophet:  "Yea, and we may see at the very ^atime when he doth ^bprosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of ^cprecious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do ^dharden their hearts, and do ^eforget the Lord their God, and do ^ftrampleunder their feet the Holy One—yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity.

  And thus we see that except the Lord doth ^achasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with ^bdeath and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not ^cremember him.

 O how ^afoolish, and how vain, and how evil, and devilish, and how ^bquick to do iniquity, and how slow to do good, are the children of men; yea, how quick to hearken unto the words of the evil one, and to set their ^chearts upon the vain things of the world!

 Yea, how quick to be lifted up in ^apride; yea, how quick to ^bboast, and do all manner of that which is iniquity; and how slow are they to remember the Lord their God, and to give ear unto his counsels, yea, how slow to ^cwalk in wisdom’s paths!"

4.  Adversity, pain and affliction is a result of bad choices we make.  When these choices are contrary to God's plan of happiness, the results are Satans plan- pain, suffering, chaos, etc. It is clear that the porn addict, alcoholic or gangsta have made choices that now have limited what they can do or become or experience.  I think this type of pain and suffering happens to everyone but in more subtle forms.

5.  We are sent to earth to be tested and proved herewith if we will do all the things the Lord asks of us (a little like #3)  But #5 does not imply that we have necessarily done anything wrong.  Rather, growth does not come but through trials and tribulations.  Even Christ (who was without sin) was tested, left alone to fend off the various temptations of Satan on his own.  This was in preparation for his ultimate mission on this earth life- to atone for the sins of all mankind.  Each person can look into their life and find adversity that has nothing to do with poor decision making on their part.  This is #5- one of the main reasons of life on earth is to be tested, to be proven, to grow and see if we will hold fast to the gospel of Christ despite what might be thrown our way. 

And lastly #6- Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father have need for you in the spirit world.  There may be sons and daughters of God who have grown and learned things in mortality which are now needed to help brothers and sisters, currently living in the spirit world (a place between mortality and the final judgement) who need to be rescued by this particular individual.  Such adversity may be found in an untimely death of a high functioning, God fearing person in this earth life, or further trials which seem to be teaching someone who has had more than their share of adversity.  We all know someone like this.  It is as if we could ask- why does the pain and suffering have to continue?  Perhaps because a greater calling awaits this individual for when they cross through the veil of mortality into the spirit world where more work will be performed on brothers and sisters who are living as spirits (this state of being is referenced in the bible albeit sparsely 

( See 1 Corinthians 15:20-29 and 1 Peter 4:5,6, and Luke 23:39-43 and Matthew 16:16-19.  These scriptures give us glimpses on what happens to our spirits at death and the power that exists to seal things on earth and in heaven by those in authority).  

Now think of the influence your mother has living as a spirit in the spirit world (also referred to as a prison or paradise depending on what ordinances and steps were taken in following the gospel of Christ while here on earth and were then "sealed" to this person as mentioned in Matthew 16).  She can do the Lords bidding on a much grander scale to those on earth who are ready to hear and feel her influence.  This influence is the promptings of the still small voice or Holy Ghost. 

OK these are my 6 reasons for earthly adversity.  Our job is to endure our challenges well and hold fast to the iron rod of the gospel.  May we all prove worthy of the challenges that are placed before us.  Then we can say I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith. 

Fight the good fight my friends! 

Kevin

Make Today Count

I had a dream last night.  Kevin was in his hospital scrubs leaving for work.  He took me in his arms and kissed me goodbye and told me over and over again how sorry he was to have to leave me.  I woke up a little sad thinking, that wasn’t a dream, that used to be my reality.  I then realized it’s still pretty close to my reality.  

President Thomas Monson said, “People facing death don’t think about what degrees they have earned, what positions they have held, or how much wealth they have accumulated.  At the end, what really matters is who you loved and who loved you.  That circle of love is everything, and is a great measure of a past life.  It is the gift of the greatest worth.” He continues, “Time is a gift, a treasure not to be put aside for the future but to be used wisely in the present.”  This was from a lesson we had last week at Family Home Evening.  We made a commitment to each other that we would make every day count.  That’s our newest family motto.  I definitely miss the old days when our motto was “Work before Play” or “Be Nice.”  But I guess “Make Today Count” is a motto we should all strive to live by.  Some situations just encourage us to really do it.  So we asked our children, “If today was the last day our family might be together in this life,  how would you spend your time?  What would you do differently?”  There have been a lot more hugs.  And a lot more kisses.  We’ve always said “I love you” a lot, but we make sure it’s the last thing we say at the end of the night.  We decided that as long as you can go to bed at night knowing that your family knows you love them, and you feel loved by them, then you can go to sleep confidently and peacefully.  

With our new motto, Kevin has been faced with the decision on how he wants to spend his time.  The answer came more in what he didn’t want to do . .and that was to endure a painful drive up to LA for the COQ10 study.  So we’ve stayed home and have been blessed with ways to make each day count.  Labor Day weekend we were surrounded by  fun and activity that my sister’s and my brother’s families brought into our home.  Kevin even took a spin in his wheelchair to see a movie with everyone.  Last Wednesday was an exciting day . .some called it “1st day of school,” others, “bomb scare day.”  Did you see the bomb threat at San Clemente High School on the national news?  Three hours sitting in a stadium in the heat was Sophie’s first introduction to high school. Thursday afternoon our power went out (as did much of Southern California into Arizona)  We saw it as a gift - no tv, no ipad, no computer - all of us sitting around the family room lit with candles telling stories and eating Carls Jr. burgers.  Kevin said that was one of the greatest moments eating that naughty, unhealthy burger. Friday was another gift - NO school due to the power outage!  We were able to get in that last summer beach day that we had been deprived of over the rainy Labor Day weekend.  Our children enjoyed the cold water and warm weather with both sets of their grandparents.  I woke up early Saturday morning to rain.  I said a prayer thanking Heavenly Father for yet another stay at home family day (they just kept on coming!!) Unfortunately, I woke up too early (yes) and forgot that it usually clears up in San Clemente (yes), so by 10:30 am. all tennis, soccer, and football games were on.  The highlights this day included Sophie successfully conquering her first high school tennis match with a smile, Kevin taking another ride in his wheelchair to watch Ben play goalie for the first time (he was awesome!), and sending Josh out the door with his 3 uncles and granddad, wearing a red U of U shirt to the USC game! (we have a picture)

I did have a very scary moment last week.  Kevin was in excruciating pain and asked me to come see if his dilaudid pump was working.  When I looked at Kevin, his shirt was covered in blood!  Remember, he had a 16 platelet count. I silently freaked out, which means I said out loud, “oh my goodness, oh my goodness, we need to get you to the hospital” and on the inside I was thinking, well, I can’t really write what I was thinking.  With investigation, we discovered that his dilaudid pump had become unhooked, the tubing had filled up with blood, and was leaking out. Kevin simply talked me through flushing the line with saline, sterilizing the attachments, and hooking the pump back up to the tubing.  Just so you know, those are not skills I have ever had to perform before. He said that the dilaudid withdrawal he had been experiencing was one of the most painful things yet.  Usually I can’t relate.  But seeing that my mom left today after 4 weeks of being with us - I know withdrawal.  I haven’t bled out yet, but it’s still early.

So every day is a gift, just like Master Oogway said.  “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift . .that is why it is called the present.”  (Even Kung Fu Panda quotes gospel principles) Today is a gift.  Make it count.

*Dang.  I meant to send this out Sunday night.  Right now, the "tomorrow is a mystery" is ringing true.  Last night, Kevin received critical blood lab results.  His platelets have dropped to 6, and his hemoglobin to 7.5.  We made it through last night with Kevin receiving extra oxygen and me bolusing the dilaudid pump every 10 minutes for pain.  We will be going to outpatient at the hospital this morning for blood and platelet transfusions. Please say an extra prayer for Kevin today.

New "Say NO to Drugs" Campaign

Days this week to LA:  4 and 1/2.  Today Kevin made it half way to LA before having to turn back.  Kevin’s platelets have been decreasing all week, so first thing this morning he needed to have a blood test.  Based on the results, one of the following scenarios would take place: a)if the platelets dropped below 20, he would go to the hospital for a platelet transfusion, b) if the platelets increased above 30, he would drive to LA for the COQ10 infusion, or c)if the platelets remained between 20 - 30, he would come home and watch movies all day.  Kevin was hoping for a) (only because a transfusion would help escalate his body out of the danger zone), I was hoping for c), but we went forward with b) until receiving the phone call that the blood results showed the same platelet count. (time to head home to watch movies) Despite the platelets, Kevin has done amazing this week.  Monday was a little brutal.  We spent 9 hours in the doctor’s office.  Because his dilaudid pump is using his portacath, Kevin’s right arm veins were used for the COQ10, and his left arm veins were used for NINE! blood draws. (Josh said, “Can they even do that?!”)  Kevin was getting so sick of the bad sticks.  He kept claiming that he has excellent veins.  And I agree with him.  I remember one of the very first times holding Kevin’s hand and looking down at his arms . .I had never seen such HUGE forearms (and veins!).  They looked just like Popeye’s! I knew this guy was no stranger to old fashioned manual labor.  So we were both perplexed that the nurse couldn’t hit his darn veins.  Our hot date night in LA was actually a lot of fun.  With Kevin in charge of the tv remote control I think we watched at least 6 different movies. Tuesday morning’s appointment was only a blood test (ha - only another blood test).  Wednesday was the 2nd day of the COQ10 infusion and my dad safely transported Kevin there and back and provided the entertainment in between. This left me behind to attend Freshman Orientation with Sophie and do some back to school shopping with Ben, Sam, and Soph.  The boys would much rather have been shopping with GG.  As we walked the isles of Target they would shout out at the next coolest thing, and then say, “Where’s GG?!” And it’s true.  Their mom stuck to the list that included shoes, backpacks, lunch boxes, and mechanical pencils, not big bouncy balls, legos, or bike helmets.  Thursday I was back on the road with Kevin.  Kevin commented that he could be the poster child for a “say NO to drugs” campaign - “anyone contemplating taking drugs, spend a day with Kevin and see how BORING druggies are!”  (Not quite sure what my excuse is, because I’m totally boring too!  Maybe someone should investigate if spending time with someone else on drugs, can make YOU boring . .kind of like second hand smoke)  Actually, Kevin is far from boring.  He continues to keep our family entertained.  Here are a few classics:  When we were flying to North Carolina, we had Kevin heavily medicated to endure the long flight.  We were standing on the airport curb checking in our luggage and Kevin was watching a lady paint her toenails before getting out of her car.  Kevin said to her, “I’ve seen a lot of things in my life, but THAT takes the cake!”  Yesterday as we were driving Kevin said, “I’ve looked at a map and the best way out of here is the 405.”  I completely agreed with him since we had been traveling on the 405 for 40 miles.  A few of his texts have been a little crazy. One late night Kevin was texting his good friend.  It started off on the right train of thought but somehow ended with “I love you sweetheart.”  Kevin had a good laugh the next day when he read what he had sent.  At least it was from the heart and intelligible.  A late night text this week was simply, “what dacchh kan i zayyyy yiuknow man?”  Which actually sums this week up perfectly!!