Hope

Hello to my curious followers.  I assume that if you are reading this you just clicked on the blog out of habit, or for old times sake, kind of like me calling Kevin’s phone just to hear his voicemail.  People have asked me if I was going to continue the blog, and I still don’t know.  It really was about Kevin’s journey, with all of us tagging along, and if I were to continue I’d have to change the blog name to: “This Mountain IS Too High.” However, I would like to share some memorial service highlights, as well as post the amazing DVD of Kevin’s life . . .but in the mean time, I’ve made an interesting discovery that I wanted to share (with the 3 of you reading this).  Sometimes I would write blog entries that I never posted.  The following is one of them.

My good friend Susie sent me a decorative letter “H” for my birthday.  That
“H” can represent a lot of things.  Obviously Hegewald. A name we will forever have to spell to others. But when I look at that “H” displayed by our family portrait, I think of Hope. Hope has had a special place in my heart, and near my heart, throughout this challenge.  My sister-in-law, Christy, gave me a necklace with the word hope. I love it and I wear it constantly.  I take it off at night, but part of my brush my teeth morning routine includes putting my hope back on.  What it stands for changes.  Somedays, I hope for healing.  Others, I hope for comfort.  Mostly, I hope for understanding.  Not only do I wear hope near my heart, but I wear it on my wrist.  The “Hope for Hegewald” bands were the most amazing and inspired gift ever.  This is the first time I have mentioned them on the blog, because honestly, they created such a fashion craze, I didn’t want anyone feeling excluded from wearing a little hope on their own wrist.  The bands were thought of by our neighbor Kelly, our church’s Young Women’s President, and designed by a few young ladies. Do you want to know why they are blue and green?  Kelly asked Sophie Kevin’s favorite color and she said blue.  She asked me and I said green. (Sophie was right) When I look at the blue and green, it’s perfect for Kevin because it makes me think of green mountains in blue skies.  Kelly first ordered 400, to be given to all of the youth in our church.  Kevin teaches and works with the 16-18 year old boys (young men really) in our church and they hold a very special place in Kevin’s heart. With friends, and parents, and leaders, of those youth wanting their own bands, a second order for 400 more was quickly placed and slowly received, literally, on a slow boat from China.  The reach of the “Hope for Hegewald” bands has been amazing.  I catch glimpses of blue and green on the wrists of church friends, neighbors, hospital coworkers, school class friends, Vista del Mar staff members and teachers, soccer friends, dear friends, friends we didn’t know were our friends. We sent bands to parents, siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews.  I doubt Kelly knew what the effects would be of such a band. It definitely is an outward expression of support, unity, and faith in hope.  What she probably doesn’t know is it became an amazing conduit to opening up discussions for my children during those first awkward weeks of Kevin’s diagnosis.  When asked about the band, they were able to say, “it says Hope for Hegewald - because my dad has cancer.”  It’s an awful thing to say, but it’s a much more awful thing to keep inside and not say at all.  Kelly, I am forever grateful.  It has been my constant companion for the past 5 1/2 months.

Now here’s my discovery:

I have become a student of Hope.  I figured if I was wearing it, I’d better understand it.  Bruce R. McConkie states, “Hope is the desire of faithful people to gain eternal salvation in the kingdom of God hereafter.  It is not a flimsy, ethereal desire, one without assurance that the desired consummation will be received, but a desire coupled with full expectation of receiving the coveted reward.”  What?@!  All of the sudden these “Hope for Hegewald” bands took on new meaning . . .what exactly were we hoping for here?  There have been 1,000 of Kevin’s best friends wearing “Hope for Hegewald” bands, who like me, have been hoping for a lot of things - peace, comfort, understanding, a miracle.   Did we inadvertently petition the Lord for something even greater than these? . .the “coveted reward” of  eternal life? The prophet Mormon states, “And what is it that ye shall hope for?  Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.” (Moroni 7:41) I know that Kevin is one step closer to receiving eternal life. He was righteous, he was obedient, he was faithful, he endured to the end.

So, what are you going to do with your “Hope for Hegewald” band?  It would be ok to take it off and tuck it in a drawer.  Then one day when you stumble upon it you will be reminded of the part you played in helping Kevin achieve life’s greatest hope.  As for me?  I’m keeping mine on.  It reminds me of the AMAZING love and support of friends; and when my own time comes to return home,  I can only hope that I have as many friends petitioning on my behalf that I, too, am deserving of HOPE.